"I Just Feel So Trapped..."

“Well, Darlin, you are trapped…”

What a validating statement at this stage of Lyme Disease for me.

I was reminded last week how far I have come since last January. I am so incredibly grateful for the improvements in my health. In no way am I “better” or really even “able” but I am still astonished at the progress in stabilization my doctors and I have worked so hard for this year.

Recently, my family and I drove up to Washington, D.C. for an appointment with the lead specialist at the clinic.

I feel that the appointment went really well. The Doctor started off by asking a lot of questions regarding symptoms and my history. He got a better understanding at why I am where I am with Lyme’s current progression in my body. We discussed the medications, therapies, and supplements I am currently taking, especially in relation to persistent symptoms.

During this process I expressed that I am having a much harder time emotionally and mentally in dealing with constant illness and pain. I told him,

“I just feel trapped. I feel trapped in every way, with anything that has to do with me.” His response was a mix of shocking, comical (to me), and comforting. He replied, “Well, Darlin, you are trapped. Your body is riddled with disease that you cannot escape, and your brain is on fire. So, it makes sense that you feel that way because you are.” Its an odd thing to hear you are super sick and yet feel comforted and validated, but that is a post for a different time.

After discussing many effects of Lyme, the doctor examined my strength, ranges of motion, nerves, along with several other things. He was able to pinpoint all the pain and trigger that which did not present itself at first. He found that I have a lot of weakness. My entire left side of my body seems to be struggling. My left hip has Trochanteric Bursitis. I will be adding some new practices and therapies to get it smoother with less friction. He also, looked at the awful hip pain I’ve got, and prescribed imaging.

Once we have those results, I will begin physical therapy. He found I have Hepatosplenomegaly, meaning that my spleen and liver are swollen, which makes sense with long-term infections and medications. My left shoulder does not have full range of motion and with all the neck pain and residual pain, he wants me to wear a neck brace a couple hours each day. The goal is to give the tendons, as well as nerves a break to help decrease the inflammation. So, if you see me, no, I did not get in a car accident. He was also very adamant about calming my body and mind, in order to sleep and cut down on some anxiety. As you may have seen in other posts, I have a lot of chest pain, including episodes that mimic heart attacks. There are some issues with inflammation and such, so I will begin adding some practices to help reduce the pain.

There were several other things that the doctor would like me to start and work on to increase stabilization before treatment. However, we did discuss treatment. He was amazed at the funding raised in such a short time, so thank you to everyone who has helped with that. The doctor told me that I have one of the more severe cases of Lyme Disease with profound severity of cognitive issues, therefore, I need to have IV treatment to gain the best quality of life moving forward. Unfortunately, we still do not have all the finances. The game plan is to implement the new meds, supplements, therapies, get imaging, begin physical therapy to become more stable, while also raising the remainder of treatment costs.

It is pretty tough to continue waiting, not because I am impatient, but because I am not getting any younger and desire to get married and start a family, have a life, and even just be able to drive. All to say that though it is hard on me to keep waiting, I will do it. I will, as I said when all the treatment need started, that I stand on who God says He is. I will lean on Him for provision and continue fundraising.

That being said, there are several fundraisers in the works most will take place in the spring. I have a friend who is hosting a benefit concert with a couple local bands coming up in March. Other fundraisers may include yard sales, fun run, craft show, and more. Keep your

ears open for the next fund raiser that is coming soon.

Be looking for announcements about the $500 Love Challenge within the next week!

I have a lot to do over the next few months, but I am encouraged by my recent appointment, as well as many of you who inquired about it. Please like, share, subscribe for more Feeling Lyme info and updates.

Thanks again for supporting me and encouraging me during this time.

Comment below with any questions or thoughts. I would love to hear from you.

Also, check out my Feeling Lymie YouTube channel https://youtu.be/loj0xh0ushI